


The Womb and the Covenant

by WhyWhyNot



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, implied/referenced child abandonment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 6,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26541946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyWhyNot/pseuds/WhyWhyNot
Summary: Dauntless finds out him and Armsmaster are half-brothers, and attempts to form a functional relationship.
Relationships: Dauntless & Colin Wallis | Armsmaster | Defiant
Comments: 122
Kudos: 48





	1. Womb 1.1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gerbilfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gerbilfriend/gifts).



It all starts when Addison takes an interest in genealogy, and Dad suggests he spends the day at their place and look through old photos.

Shawn doesn’t have work that day, and he wants to spend some time with his son and his parents, so he comes along.

(He’s not on call. He doesn’t believe for a second that Armsmaster will care if there’s an emergency, but he’s technically not on call and it’s good enough for him.)

They’re looking through Mom’s old pictures, cooing over pictures of Gran holding baby her and of her feeding baby Shawn when Shawn finds _it_.

 _It_ is a picture of Mom when she was younger, still in her late twenties or early thirties, holding a toddler. The toddler must be about two years old, and is looking very seriously at the camera.

The toddler isn’t Shawn.

“Who is that?” he asks Dad, and Dad looks at the picture and makes a complicated face.

“It’s your brother,” Dad says awkwardly.

Shawn wasn’t aware he had a brother.

“What’s his name?”

“Colin Wallis.”

Shawn is going to need an explanation.


	2. Womb 1.2

They wait until Addison is asleep, and then they sit around the kitchen table for explanations.

“I was married before your Dad,” says Mom, and then she tells him how she had a child from this first marriage.

She tells him how there were tensions between her and her first husband.

She tells him how she cheated on her husband with Dad, and got pregnant.

With Shawn.

He’s born from _cheating_. 

She tells him how she divorced her first husband, and married Dad.

She tells him the rest he already knows.

(The rest is his childhood. The rest is bedtime stories and skinned knees and growing up in Brockton Bay with a Mom and a Dad who love him more than anything in the world.)

(The rest is Shawn, six years old, asking for a brother for Christmas because always having someone to play with sounds neat, and Shawn, eight years old, making one up.)

“You never told me,” he says.

“We didn’t know how,” says Dad.

(The rest is Shawn, ten years old, giving up and feeling lonely.)

“ _You never told me_.”

Mom doesn’t say anything.


	3. Womb 1.3

Shawn always believed that honesty made for happy families and healthy relationships.

(It appears that his parents, despite what he thought, do not share that belief.)

Shawn doesn’t lie to his parents. Not about important things.

Being a cape, being a hero, being _Dauntless_ is important. He told them.

Right now, Shawn is almost regretting it, because it means he cannot tell them one of his co-workers is called Colin Wallis without outing him. As little of a civilian identity as Armsmaster may have, Shawn isn’t stupid enough to believe he would forgive him.

It’s probably just a coincidence. Mom said she did not have any contact with her eldest son after divorcing his father. The probability that Colin-his-brother, for completely unrelated reasons, moved in the same city as she did with a decalage of twenty-odd years and ended up working for the same place as Shawn is very low. It’s probably just a coincidence.

(Powers are not genetics, but they tend to run into families. The probability of another Colin Wallis who happens to have the right age, a vague physical ressemblance to Mom and powers is also pretty low.)

It’s probably just a coincidence. Possibly. Maybe. Shawn might be imagining the physical ressemblance now that he’s looking for it.

It’s going to eat at him until he confirms, one way or another, whether Colin-his-brother and Colin-his-boss are the same person.

He can’t go to Mom for that.

Which means that he needs to talk to Armsmaster about it.


	4. Womb 1.4

Shawn’s first impulse is to go speak to Armsmaster in his office. He’s sure to find him there, and they will have privacy.

Shawn squashes the impulse. If Armsmaster is in his office, he’s working, and will at best be annoyed if Shawn interrupts him to talk about things that have nothing to do with the job.

Annoyance is _not_ how Shawn wants to start the “Are you secretly my brother?” conversation.

Instead, he goes to the Rig while he’s technically not on call, and wait in the empty break room for Armsmaster to refill on coffee, since the… _incident_ with Robin, Samantha and the live mouse destroyed the one in his office.

Since Armsmaster is a force of nature with the ability to cram far too much work on far too little caffeine, it takes an incredibly long time, and Shawn distracts himself by telling children stories to the office plant.

He’s in the middle of _Green Eggs and Ham_ when Armsmaster shows up, and he doesn’t even look at Shawn but he can still _feel_ the judgment.

(At least he’s not in armor.)

“Oh, err, Colin? I wanted to talk to you, are you… free, right now?”

“As long as it doesn’t take too long, it should be fine,” Armsmaster says, and Shawn holds back a sigh of relief.

“So, I, I talked with my parents, and it turns out that my mom had another kid before me, so I have an older half-brother I never met and never heard about until two weeks ago?”

Armsmaster’s polished expression of mild interest doesn’t change, but Shawn still hear the unspoken “why the fuck are you telling me that?” loud and clear.

“YouhavetherightnameandageandIwasthinkingmaybeitwasyou ?” blurts out Shawn, and he’s about to try and repeat it slower when Armsmaster interrupts him.

“What’s your mother’s maiden name?”

“Shannon Carter.”

There’s a flash of _something_ on Armsmaster’s face before it goes carefully blank, and Shawn realizes with a sinking feeling that it’s _not_ a coincidence.


	5. Womb 1.5

The next few days are surreal.

Armsmaster’s behavior doesn’t change one bit, except that he maybe is just a little shorter than he was toward Shawn.

(Unless Shawn is imagining things because he can’t conceive a total lack of changes after such a revelation.)

It’s _surreal_.

As a child, Shawn always wanted a brother, and now that he’s an adult who knows better than to expect one, he actually get one and it’s _Armsmaster_?

It’s not that there’s anything _wrong_ with Armsmaster, it’s just…

It’s just that Shawn wanted a brother he would relate to, a brother he would get along with, a brother he would be close to, a brother with whom he would have _common ground_.

Armsmaster, for all his qualities, isn’t that.

Armsmaster has been a part of the Protectorate since the early days. He never misses an Endbringer fight if he can be present. He’s one of the best Tinkers there is, and Shawn might have been a cape for almost as long, but Armsmaster is still vastly more experienced.

Even while working under him, sometimes, Shawn finds it hard to remember that he’s only _human_.

Shawn takes his job as a hero seriously, but there’s a _drive_ to Armsmaster he simply doesn’t have.

And Shawn doesn’t think Armsmaster likes him very much.


	6. Womb 1.6

Somehow, the news that Shawn and Armsmaster are related spread amongst the team.

(Not beyond. No one is stupid enough to talk about it outside the team. A few PRT agents may know, and the Director definitely does, but they’re keeping mum about it.)

Shawn blames Ethan. He has no proof, but he’s blaming him on principle. He would tell everyone about it because he thinks it’s fun, and not stop to consider that it’s a private matter.

Everyone in the team _knows_ , and it’s making Shawn uncomfortable.

It’s not anything they say, or anything in particular, really. It’s just that they _know_ , they _know_ they’re brothers, and they _know_ they’re not doing anything about it.

They should. They’re _brothers_.

Brothers are supposed to get along. Brothers are supposed to love each other.

Shawn respects Armsmaster, even admires his drive and dedication, but he doesn’t _love_ him. He’s not even sure he _likes_ him. 

He should. They’re _brothers_.

And it’s time Shawn plays the part of one.


	7. Womb 1.7

“You’re being an asshole, Colin.”

Hannah’s voice coming from Armsmaster’s office gives Shawn pause. He wanted to talk, and see if they couldn’t try to get a more… Familial relationship, but he sounds busy, so it’s probably best if he comes back later. People are rarely in sunny dispositions right after being called assholes.

Shawn can’t tell whether Armsmaster stayed silent or answered to quietly for him to hear, but either way, Hannah starts talking again.

“You can’t keep ignoring Shawn like that. It’s not fair to him.”

Shawn wouldn’t say that Armsmaster was _ignoring_ him. The level of avoidance he has consistently maintained would require for him to be very aware of where Shawn is at any given moment.

“I just don’t want to talk to him,” Armsmaster says.

That’s fair. Shawn definitely gets that.

It’s not exactly _helpful_ , though.

“Well, you _should_. You’re _brothers_. It’s important, Colin, you can’t just… I don’t even know what is it you’re doing, hoping it goes away? It _won’t_.”

There’s a twist of guilt in Shawn’s guts, because, well, he kind of wishes it would. He knows it won’t, of course, but it would be so much better, so much _easier_ if it did. If he didn’t have to love Armsmaster.

“I just think you should make an effort to get along, Colin. Having siblings is _amazing_.”

Shawn really, _really_ hopes she’s right.


	8. Womb 1.8

Armsmaster comes to Shawn the following day.

He apologizes for avoiding him. Says that he needed time to himself to come to term with their… Relationship. Says that he understands if Shawn is upset.

Shawn isn’t upset. Shawn _still_ hasn’t come to term with their… Relationship. Shawn says it’s all right because he doesn’t know what else to say.

Armsmaster takes that as an encouragement. Armsmaster says he’s aware that things have been tense between them before, and thinks they should start again and do better. Armsmaster suggests the two of them should be a family.

Shawn wonders if he should get Armsmaster through Master/Stranger screening. Shawn wonders if he should get _himself_ through Master/Stranger screening. Shawn says he thought the same.

Armsmaster smiles. He has a very nice smile, very charming.

(Shawn already knew that. He saw that smile adressed to politicians he knows Armsmaster hates to many times not to recognize it.)

“To new beginnings, then,” Armsmaster says, and he extends a hand toward him.

“To new beginnings,” says Shawn, and he makes his best smile-for-the-journalists face as he goes to shake it.

It’s okay.

They just need to fake it till they make it.


	9. Interlude 1.x - Addison

Dad sits Addison down and tells him he has an uncle.

Addison knew that already. He was there when Dad learned that he had a brother, even if he missed the explanation afterward.

What he didn’t know was that Dad found him already. _That_ bit is new.

Addison isn’t sure he’s happy about it. He… He thinks he’s probably supposed to, if the way Dad keeps smiling at him is any indication, but he’s just… Not.

He likes his family like it is now. Just Dad, Grant, Gramps, and him. He doesn’t want some loosy uncle who will take some of Dad’s time for himself.

(Dad is a hero. Dad is a superhero, and it’s cool, and he helps people and Brockton Bay, frankly, needs it, but Addison still wishes he was home more often.)

Some of Addison’s feelings must have shown on his face, because Dad’s smile dims a little.

“When will I meet him?” Addison asks.

“I don’t know yet,” says Dad. “I want to make it work between him and me before I introduce you to each other, so it might take some time.”

Addison isn’t in a hurry. Hopefully, it won’t work out and Mysterious Uncle will go away.

(He doesn’t say it, of course. He’s not _dumb_.)

It’s only after Dad leave for work that Addison realizes he never told him how he found Mysterious Uncle.


	10. Pretense 2.1

Of course, “fake it till they make it” is a lot easier in theory than it is in practice.

Armsmaster is…

Well, Armsmaster is kind of an _ass_.

Not in the way Ethan can be an ass, with his habit of always going for the joke, even when it’s not entirely appropriate to do so, and his tendency to ignore everyone’s boundaries. Armsmaster is an ass in that he… Doesn’t necessarily cares all that much about people’s feelings, unless it’s for PR and public appearances, because PR and public appearances are part of the job, and the job matters more to him than pesky things such as interpersonal relationships.

(Shawn is aware that he is, maybe, a little unkind. Armsmaster _is_ trying to foster a positive relationship with him, and even if every part of it is painfully fake, well.)

(It’s not like things are more authentic in any way on Shawn’s side.)

Shawn doesn’t know whether the others actually believe Armsmaster and him get along now, or if they’re pretending to avoid the awkwardness, but Hannah cornered him and handed him a list of Armsmaster’s favorite movies, put together by herself, Chevalier, and Dragon.

Someone also gave a list of _Shawn_ ’s favorite movies to Armsmaster, if him randomly starting a conversation about _The Mouse and the Hunter_ is anything to go by.

(Armsmaster seems to have missed a lot of the jokes, but the point of _Girl With Four Eyes_ went right over Shawn’s head, so they’re even.)

As for Director Piggot, she has officially confirmed her awareness of the situation by sternly instructing them not to kill or maim each other.

That bar is low enough they might even clear it.


	11. Pretense 2.2

Armsmaster made a lie detector.

A _lie detector_. A program that, for lack of a better word, _look at people_ , and then tells you if they’re lying.

(Armsmaster gave him a long lecture about how the program isn’t perfect, about how it will work better on people he meets regularly than on strangers and can be fooled if the liar is especially chill about it, but it’s still a mostly functional _lie detector_.)

Shawn would like an explanation about how _lie detectors_ are related to efficiency and miniaturization, but the answer is probably that powers are bullshit and Tinkers are no exception.

Armsmaster is in a good mood, that mix of pride and satisfaction he gets for a few hours after finishing a project, and Shawn tries to squash the twist in his guts.

It’s not fair.

Armsmaster’s power is only that good because _Armsmaster_ has it. Most people, even with the same power, wouldn’t be as versatile, or powerful, or dangerous. They wouldn’t be as _good_. Armsmaster is good because he’s _Armsmaster_. 

(Shawn’s power isn’t like that. Shawn’s power would work just as well no matter who has it. The Protectorate wants Shawn’s _power_ , no _Shawn_.) 

Armsmaster, standing in his office and explaining the thing he made with a rare, honest smile, is probably the closest thing they’ve ever had to real brotherhood. 

Shawn feels like he’s watching it from behind a wall of glass.

(His smile feels fixed on his lips.)


	12. Pretense 2.3

Internet was a mistake.

Cape VS debates aren’t uncommon on PHO. Neither are lengthy criticism of their outfits, speculation on the meaning of their names, and comparative threads discussing who has the best ass.

Neither are popularity polls.

Dauntless won the last Protectorate ENE one.

Yay.

Robin reads the best posts in the thread out loud, and Shawn has to suppress a flinch.

(They go on, and on, about how powerful he will be, and Shawn hates it, Shawn hates it, Shawn hates how everyone see his powers and forgets _him_.)

(They say Dauntless will be great. Shawn doesn’t _want_ to be great. Shawn is happy as he is.)

(One day, the higher up are going to decide he’s strong enough to face the Endbringers, and the mere idea terrifies him.)

Armsmaster keeps on his smile, but it’s just a little bit faker, his manners are just a little bit shorter, and Shawn knows he’s mad at him again.

Internet was a mistake.


	13. Pretense 2.4

Maybe alcohol is the solution.

Maybe, if Shawn drags Armsmaster to a bar and get him drunk, he will relax enough for Shawn to start calling him ‘Colinʼ in his head.

Maybe the act of drinking together will awaken a kinship buried deep inside their very beings.

Maybe not. Probably not, if Shawn is honest with himself, but he doesn’t know what to do and doesn’t have a better idea.

What’s the worst that could happen?

\---

Shawn wouldn’t call it a _resounding success_ quite yet, but Armsmaster at least appears tentatively interested, which is already more than he expected.

“What about your son?” Armsmaster asks, and Shawn is so relieved his plan is going well he doesn’t think before he answers.

“He’s staying with my parents for the night,” Shawn says.

Armsmaster’s face closes.

“I’m sorry, I just remembered that I meant to train the lie detectors on data from people on the spectrum to avoid bias. I’m afraid I won’t be free tonight.”

Shawn smells bullshit.

He lets it go.


	14. Pretense 2.5

Okay.

New plan.

Boardwalk patrol. Or, as everyone unofficially call them, PR patrol.

It’s perfect.

It’s a way to spend time together. It has a set amount of time after which they can split up without it being awkward. It doesn’t actually requires them to talk to each other. And, little cherry on top, it’s technically work, so Armsmaster won’t feel like he’s wasting his time.

(Admittedly, PR patrols generally do feel like a waste of time, but it’s a necessary one.)

(Armsmaster is all about efficiency, right? That’s literally his superpower. Shawn is sure he will be thrilled to have the ability to condense two necessary wastes of time into one.)

The asking go surprisingly well. Apparently, Armsmaster was overdue for a public appearance, and he slightly prefers PR patrols to interview. Something about at least _pretending_ everything is all right.

(That’s… Surprisingly relatable. Shawn hates interviews.)

Shawn has found something they have on common.

This is going well.

(They can do it.)


	15. Pretense 2.6

So far, the PR patrol is going well.

At least, the PR bit of it is going well. Shawn and Armsmaster have barely exchanged a word, and Shawn is bored out of his mind. 

(Shawn can figure out three possible reasons for Armsmaster’s unrelenting focus on his surroundings : a PR move, the belief that in Brockton Bay something can happen even on a PR patrol, or a tactic to avoid talking to him.)

Shawn alleviates the boredom by discreetly looking through the shops windows to see if he can find something for Addison. Or maybe Armsmaster. Better start early for Christmas gifts. If he does find something, he can come back later in his civilian identity to buy it. 

They take a strategically placed break so they can sign autographs. Armsmaster dials up the PR smile. Shawn sternly advise a bunch of five years olds to eat all their vegetables if they want to grow big and strong like Superheroes. Armsmaster mouths “ _really?_ ” at him when no one is looking.

Shawn’s answering smile is sincere, and he wants to think Armsmaster’s becomes a little less PR and a little more real.

It’s almost fun.

The time Armsmaster allocated to the break ends, and they start walking again. Shawn starts running a mental tally of everyone with blonde hair.

A girl steals the wallet in the pocket of the man before her.


	16. Pretense 2.7

Shawn wasn’t going to hurt the girl. He’s not even sure he was going to arrest her. Maybe he would just have convinced her to give the wallet back and let her go. 

Shawn wasn’t going to hurt the girl. He wasn’t even going to make a scene.

She seemed harmless. 

Things went sideways anyway.

Shawn approached the girl as discreetly as he could, leaned towards her so he could talk to her quietly.

The girl talked first. 

The girl looked fifteen, and she wasn’t wearing a mask. She seemed _harmless_.

The girl said it wouldn’t work. Said he was lying to himself if he ever thought it would. Said he was just playing pretend, and it was just a game of mask. Said there was nothing _true_ , nothing _real_ , and they were just lying through their teeth and they all knew it.

There was a smile growing on her face as she talked, smug and triumphant while Shawn felt as if he was falling down a deep, deep hole.

The girl said _he_ didn’t care, said _Armsmaster_ didn’t care, said he was only pretending to. Said he was only pretending to try so he would be left alone, and didn’t actually want it to work out. Said he was just waiting for Shawn to give up so he wouldn’t get the blame.

The girl didn’t raise her voice. The girl didn’t make a scene.

Shawn felt frozen in place as she walked away.


	17. Pretense 2.8

The fight doesn’t start until they’re back to the Rig.

Shawn explained what happened to Armsmaster, and he nodded, and told him to write a detailed report, because it sounds like the girl could be some kind of thinker.

He didn’t say anything about what she said.

_He didn’t say anything about what she said._

And the girl’s words are swirling through Shawn’s head, about him not really caring, about him not really _trying_ , and the words are swirling through his mind and pouring out his mouth, and suddenly he’s screaming at Armsmaster in the middle of the hallway.

Maybe fight is the wrong word.

Armsmaster doesn’t scream back, doesn’t say anything, really. He just stands there, a blank expression over feelings Shawn can’t put a finger on.

“I wish you,” Shawn screams, and then he cut himself off, because the second half of this sentence was _weren’t my brother_ , and it’s more cruel than he ever wants to be.

“I wish you would care. I wish you would _try_ ,” Shawn says instead, and then he goes quiet and Armsmaster leaves.

_I wish you weren’t my brother._

Shit. 

What the fuck is _wrong_ with him?


	18. Interlude 2.x - Colin

Colin thinks something might be _wrong_ with him.

Everyone around him is behaving like learning that Shawn is his brother is this great, revolutionary thing, and that everything between them ought to change and they ought to love each other and spend time together and be close and

And Colin doesn’t understand _why_.

They did not _become_ brothers. They always were. The person they are didn’t change, but their relationship is supposed to, even though _nothing else_ did.

(That part is a lie. Things did change.)

(Colin always believed his mother had left because she didn’t want to be a mom, and he was fine with that. Some people just aren’t made for parenthood.)

(Except it wasn’t that. She did want to be a mom. Just not Colin’s.)

Things did change, and the part of him that resents Dauntless grew larger.

(Maybe that’s why she left. Maybe she felt the _wrong_ , twisted part of him, the part that him not understand what everyone else sees as self-evident.)

 _I wish you would care,_ Dauntless said. _I wish you would try._

Colin doesn’t care, isn’t sure why he should, but he’s trying. _He is_.

It’s not working, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Colin thinks something might be wrong with him.

Colin thinks he might need help.


	19. Covenant 3.1

Armsmaster doesn’t come to work the following day. Or maybe he leaves work for the day, Shawn never did get a clear answer about whether he lives on the Rig full time.

(Probably not. There must be regulations about that sort of thing, right?)

When he gets back, Shawn corners him to apologize.

(He went too far. He might have thought what he said at the time, might still think some of it, but he went too far.)

_I wish you weren’t my brother._

(He does. For all the guilt in his stomach, and all the attempts to build something, _he does_.)

“I think I need more time,” Armsmaster says, and Shawn doesn’t understand.

“What we’re doing isn’t working. I think… I think it would be better if we both took some time apart so we can determine what we expect of a sibling relationship before we try to build it. Decide what we actually _want_.”

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Shawn thought he’d be… Angry.

He’s not.

He’s just…

He’s _relieved_.

He doesn’t have to pretend anymore.

(He’s not the one who gave up.)


	20. Covenant 3.2

Does Shawn avoid Armsmaster afterwards?

No.

Of course not.

Don’t be ridiculous.

(Yes. He does.)

The hardest part is Hannah, who keeps sending them disappointed looks.

(Shawn talked to Addison again. He thinks… He thinks he was relieved too.)

Also, Shawn found out where Armsmaster went that day he wasn’t at work. Robin told him, after overhearing a conversation between Armsmaster and Hannah.

He went and got himself a therapist for his civilian identity, neatly sidestepping the whole rotation thing. The Director didn’t stop him, so she must be okay with it.

It’s not a perfect solution, of course. Since the therapist is a civilian, Armsmaster won’t be able to discuss anything classified, which includes… Everything cape related, really.

But then, the problem their whole family thing was never about being capes.

(It’s weird, and it doesn’t make any sense, but Shawn feels proud of him for taking this step.)


	21. Covenant 3.3

Sooner or later, Shawn and Colin will have to _talk_. 

Right now, though, Shawn is happy the way things are. It’s all right.

It’s actually _all right_.

(Isn’t that a weird, terrifying thought?)

He wouldn’t call what he has with Colin _brotherhood_ , or _kinship_ , or even _closeness_ , but it’s not _fake_ either, not a pretense or an act, not going through the motions of what they were told they ought to feel.

Shawn can go through the day without feeling guilty, and it’s… Freeing.

It’s not quite a return to the old status quo. Colin is… Less hostile. More relaxed. He occasionally takes a bit of time off, and participates more in non-work conversations.

(He’s still driven, and overworking, and far from a social butterfly, but that’s okay. That’s just, well, _him_.)

(He wouldn’t be _Colin_ otherwise.)

Shawn doesn’t quite understand his drive, doesn’t think Colin understands his desire to stay where he is, but that’s okay. They’re just different people.

Sooner or later, they’ll need to talk about where they will go going forward.

But for now, Shawn is content to let weeks go by.


	22. Covenant 3.4

A month passes, then two, then three. Samantha accidentally breaks two of Robin’s fingers by slamming a door on them, starting a debate about whether the injury means he should be pulled out of field duty until it heals. Half a dozen girls disappear, with the ABB as a prime suspect. Leviathan attacks Lima.

(Colin goes, of course. He always does.)

Shawn waits for a week for things to calm down, and asks Colin if he’s ready to talk about how things will go between them.

Colin says he is.

They sit in Colin’s office, close the door to avoid eavesdroppers, and awkwardly stare at each other for a while.

Colin breaks the silence first.

“I don’t think I can see you as a brother. If I’m completely honest, I don’t think I _want_ to.”

(It doesn’t hurt the way Shawn thinks it maybe should. For all that he likes Colin better now, for all that he used to want a brother… The kind of relationship he imagined as a child wouldn’t work with them, with the people they are.)

(It’s not a mold they can fit in.)

“I think you’re right,” says Shawn, and he thinks Colin relaxes at the lack of reproach.

They talk a bit more, of course, but in the end, it all comes back to the same thing. They just can’t see the other as family, and it’s fine.

“You know,” Shawn says as he leaves, “the invitation still stands. For a drink, I mean. As co-workers.”

“I think one of these days, I might take you up on it,” says Colin, and there’s a smile on Shawn’s lips as he closes the door behind him.

They’re not brothers, beyond the strict biological definition. They will probably never be. But who knows?

They might be friends, one day.


	23. Covenant 3.5

Ethan gets wind of their plan and decides to tag along, forcibly dragging an exasperated Samantha with him, which leads to Hannah deciding to accompany them because “it sounds like fun”. Robin wanted to come, but a Protectorate cape is supposed to be ready at PHQ at all times, and it’s his turn.

Ethan promises he will send him compromising pictures.

Colin informs everyone that he technically doesn’t have the authority to command them off-hours, but that if anyone gets actually drunk, he will find a way to make them pay.

Ethan calls him a killjoy. Colin asks him if Velocity being the only one sober sounds like a good idea if Lung decides to go on a rampage.

Robin informs them that if they leave him alone to fight Lung, he will die. Hannah seconds the “no more than one drink per person” motion, and is supported by Shawn and Samantha, leaving Ethan soundly outvoted. He pretends to pout all the way to the bar.

Apparently, one drink is already plenty when you stick five capes inside one bar.

Highlights of the night includes Hannah beating a perfect stranger at arm wrestling, a pretty woman throwing up on Ethan’s shoes, a debate with Samantha about parasols in cocktails, and Colin accidentally seducing the barman into giving him his number before making sure the drunk woman makes it home safe.

Ethan suggests they should do it again. Colin says he will consider it if he survives the next Endbringer fight.

Shawn texts a picture of the barman to Robin.


	24. Covenant 3.6

Lisa Wilbourn.

Sarah Livsey.

It took a while, but they found the girl from the Boardwalk. The Thinker. 

It might be be mean, and selfish, and petty, but Shawn doesn’t want her in the Wards, or at least not in Brockton Bay. Actually, he wants her as far from him as possible.

(She took him apart. She looked at him and took him apart in a matter of minutes. She didn’t need to raise a finger.)

(Something about that scares him more than Lung’s scales and fire.)

With Shawn’s luck, she’s here to stay. She doesn’t have anything on her rap-sheet but the Boardwalk confrontation and some minor shoplifting and pickpocketing, and it’s a bit murky if the Boardwalk confrontation even count as a crime.

Even that vigilante, Shadow Walker, has committed worse crimes, and she’s purportedly trying to be a hero.

Either way, Shawn won’t know until the matter of her custody has been decided. She apparently refuses to go back to her parents, or to answer to Sarah Livsey.

(Colin calls her Miss Wilbourn, and Shawn asked him about it.)

“There’s more to family than just blood,” he said, and it hits Shawn, suddenly, that he might not be talking about him.

That he might be talking about _Mom_.

Shawn is still somewhat mad at her for hiding the truth, but they’ve made up. He loves her, and she’s his Mom, and she was a good one, overall.

He was so focused on the whole _brother_ thing he never stopped and thought about the fact that she _abandoned_ Colin.

“Yeah,” says Shawn. “I guess there is.”


	25. Covenant 3.7

Shawn re-watches _Girl With Four Eyes_. It’s not the kind of movie he usually watches, but there’s something serene in the wide, starry skies over the Canyon, something strangely beautiful in the incessant ballet of the Disembodied Hands, something like wonder and like awe in the burning, desesperate _want_ of the characters.

Shawn still doesn’t understand everything, isn’t quite sure what to think, but he thinks it might be the point. He thinks he might be supposed to come up with his own opinion.

He’s not sure he _likes_ the movie, but he understands how other people can.

He thinks about Marée’s second brain, about Vin’s mind in a bird’s body, about the Girl with four eyes, and he wonders.

It’s not the kind of movie he usually watches, won’t ever be popular, but it’s good nonetheless.

\---

Colin comes to see Shawn and asks if he could meet Mom.

 _You mother_ , Colin says, and it’s weird, because she’s also his mother, and at the same time it isn’t, because… She’s not. Not really.

Colin doesn’t want the meeting to be at her home, or Shawn’s, or his. He’d rather a public place, like a coffee shop or something. Somewhere neutral.

Shawn asks if Colin wants him to be there. He says he’s rather he isn’t.

Shawn says he will arrange the meeting, and stay away.

This isn’t about him.


	26. Covenant 3.8

So that’s it.

Shawn has Dad, and Mom, even if he’s going to need to learn how to fully trust them again, even if he sees them in a different light that the one he did before. He has Addison, and Addison has him.

He has Robin, too. Hannah and Samantha. Ethan, even if he’s a dick.

He has Colin, even though it’s not in the way he thought he would, the way the world expected him to.

Things aren’t perfect. He still has that power that feels too big for him, still has those expectations he doesn’t want to carry, still has the Endbringers’ sword of Damocles hanging over his head.

Things aren’t perfect. They never will be.

Things aren’t perfect, but they’re better than they were, that day before he found that picture of Colin and Mom, and that’s good enough for him.


	27. Interlude 3.x - Shannon

There’s a man standing in front of the coffee shop, and Shannon wonders if it’s _him_. He’s the right age, and his hair are the same color as hers.

She swallows a humorless laugh along with some of her coffee. Here she is, sitting in an overpriced coffee shop, wondering if the stranger in the window is the son she left almost thirty years ago.

(She didn’t expect Shawn to find him.)

(She shouldn’t have told him his name.)

The man looks like he’s hesitating, like he’s not sure whether to come inside or not, and Shannon hopes he won’t. Hopes he will leave, so that she can go back home to Christopher, to Shawn, to Addison. She doesn’t want him there. She doesn’t have anything against him, he’s just not family, not in any way that counts.

“Miss Williams ?” asks a voice besides her, and she turns to look at the newcomer, and

Oh.

He has Paul’s jaw. A bit more angular, and covered with a neatly trimmed beard, but it’s Paul’s jaw, and her nose and hands, and the eyes she last saw in a much, much younger face.

(She remembers the way those eyes would stare at her, when he’d run into her in the hallway while going to pee at night, the way she’d come home after he was alreadyasleep, and leave before he could get up, the way he always seemed more like a stranger than a son.)

(It was different with Shawn. She loved Christopher, and he loved Shawn, and so she learned to love him too, until she would have burned the world down for him.)

“Colin,” she says, and he flinches slightly, and the use of his first name feels wrong, seems to imply a closeness that isn’t there.

They are more strangers than mother and son.

“Mister Wallis,” she corrects, and he sits down in front of her, and asks for a cup of hot chocolate when the waiter comes by.

She waits until his order is on the table before him to continue.

“You wanted to meet?”

“I wanted to know.”

Of course.

“Why I left?”

“No.”

She deliberately raises an eyebrow.

“I wanted to know if I would regret never seeing you again.”

“Will you?”

He takes the time to drink his chocolate before answering. 

“No. I don’t think I will.”

He leaves enough money on the table to cover both their drinks, and Shannon watches as he walks away with something like relief. She waits until he’s disappeared in the crowd to finish her coffee.

Shannon knows she isn’t a good person at heart, like Shawn, or Christopher, or even Addison. She’s made her peace with that. 

If she could do it all again, she would still make the same choices.


End file.
